Showing posts with label blahs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blahs. Show all posts

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

that day is today


one day,
there'll be moment when glimpses of your life flash before your eyes
and all of sudden, you start thinking,

how many time you've spent wasting and waiting
how many chances you miss
how many unworthy people you let them stay
and how many people you let go yet you should've fight for them

you start realizing,
how many hours, or days, you spent procrastinating
how many weeks, or years, you spent doing something you hate
how much part of your life you spent pleasing and impressing people
how many time have you wasted?

to me, that day is today,
when i realized how long since i've been writing, doodling, when was the last time i create anything, really
how long i've stayed in my zone
how long i've been feeling safe and protected
how long i've been thinking it's okay to be lazy because others are also trapped comfortably in their laziness

this is a big world
there's just too much to discover,
people to meet,
opportunities to grab,
lessons to learn,
experiences to earn
photos to take,

friends to make,

i mean, you get the idea. i should start my day now, and you should too.


Saturday, 4 August 2012

in case you're wondering why

there's something wrong

about me not using any commas or fullstops
completely aware that this willl not be a pretty post
but keep on going

Monday, 9 April 2012

Cinta, Tuhan, Hidup dan Sampah

The best things in world will never be definable. Cinta dan Tuhan misalnya. Mengutip kata Dewi Lestari,
Pengalaman, bukan penjelasan. Perjalanan, bukan tujuan. Pertanyaan, yang sungguh tak berjodoh dengan segala jawaban.

Atau hidup. Ah, ini topik favorit saya.

Saya bisa saja mengatakan bahwa tidak ada sperma yang terpilih dan terseleksi lalu menjadi percuma. Tidak. Kamu tidak diciptakan sia-sia, kamu diciptakan untuk menjadi sesuatu. Kamu berharga, bukan sekedar satu dari enam milyar jiwa. Dan Tuhan, begitu cintanya padamu. Dia memastikan jantungmu tetap berdetak.. sementara kamu? Siapa sih kamu? Kamu bahkan lebih kecil dari debu antariksa, siapapun bisa meninggal setiap harinya, kenapa bukan kamu? Kenapa sesudah kamu berbuat dosa, atau sesuatu yang mengesalkan Tuhan, Ia tidak langsung mencabut nikmatNya yang dititipkan padamu? Atau sekalian saja, nyawamu?
Lalu perlahan, kamu bisa saja akan makin bersyukur. Lalu perlahan kamu mungkin merasa terinspirasi dan berterima kasih. Dan cepat atau lambat, terbentuk di benakmu bahwa saya adalah seseorang yang baik dan positif.

Lalu bagaimana ketika saya mengatakan bahwa Tuhan kita adalah penulis di sebuah buku cerita bernama realita. Dia akan mengatur setiap jengkal langkah dan setiap huruf yang keluar dari mulut maupun tangan kita. Dia akan menetapkan dengan cermat seluruh sebab dan akibat, memberikan peran tanpa berdiskusi, si A akan menjadi tokoh antagonis, si B adalah si tertindas, dan si C adalah sang pahlawan. Pada tanggal ini, jam ini, di tempat ini, kamu akan tergoda Iblis dan melakukan perbuatan yang tak termaafkan, lalu sepuluh hari kemudian kamu akan meninggal tanpa sempat bertaubat, dan kamu akan masuk neraka.
Seems.. Unfair? Lah, mau protes sama siapa? Orang kita cuma ciptaan, buatan, harus tunduk sama Bos dari segala Bos dong.
Sampai di poin ini, alismu akan mulai berkerut, kamu mulai berpikir dua kali untuk berkunjung lagi di blog ini, dan jelas, citra positif itu pudar sama sekali.

Saya, atau siapapun juga, cuma bisa berteori. Bisa, bahkan bukan berarti berhak.
Hidup cuma bisa dijalani sebaik-baiknya dengan terus melihat ke depan.
Dan dimengerti sebaik-baiknya dengan sesekali melihat ke belakang.
Kamu adalah pencipta definisimu sendiri. Kamu berhak memasukkan kata sifat 'Tidak Adil', 'Menyebalkan', 'Ironis', 'Penuh Kejutan', bahkan 'Sempurna'.
Kamu juga yang akan memilih sikap apa yang akan kamu pakai untuk menghadapinya. Keras dan ambisius? Tegar dan menomorduakan perasaan? Menganalisa setiap tindakan? Menikmati setiap jengkal hidup -lagi, definisikan sendiri soal ini- atau mengalir seperti air?

Kamu boleh memilih menjadi orang yang sepenuhnya baik, sepenuhnya jahat, setengah-setengah, atau menentukan sifatmu sesuai dengan apa yang kamu hadapi. Dan kamu bisa memilih. Tidak ada orang yang terlahir dengan hati kapas atau batu. Semua soal proses dan penerimaan.

Ah ya, jika saya boleh memberi sedikit saran, -saran yang sudah jelas tidak saya lakukan tapi tetap saya rekomendasikan. 
Minimalkan menceritakan sesuatu pada orang lain, apalagi berulang-ulang.
Terutama masalah, bahasa saya: sampah.
Jika sampah itu ternyata ringan, orang akan menganggapmu lemah. Lebay, bahkan.
Jika sampah itu ternyata berat, orang akan menganggapmu mencari perhatian.
Lebih parah, mensyukuri hal itu.

Bahkan menceritakan kebahagiaan? Wah, ada ribuan pencemburu di luar sana kawan. Dan kalaupun ada pendengarnya, percayalah, mereka cepat bosan.

Saya termasuk seseorang yang sering menyampah, padahal saya tau saya lebih dari mampu untuk mendaur ulangnya terlebih dulu. I'm working on that now, actually. Karena saya bercerita way way too much.
Tapi mungkin, dengan mengenal saya, kamu bisa sedikit lebih bersyukur? Mungkin kamu nggak selebay saya, atau kamu bukanlah attention-whore kurang kerjaan yang menulis hal semacam ini di internet, atau kamu merasa tidak semenyedihkan saya, atau entahlah, sedikit banyak ada yang bisa dipelajari dari spesies ini?

Last, I want you guys to know that,
Everybody is struggling.
Semua orang berjuang.
Semua orang bertahan hidup.
Semua orang mempunyai perang yang harus, atau ingin, mereka menangkan.

Entah hal ini patut disadari, disyukuri, atau hanya pengingat bahwa kamu nggak sendiri.
KAMU adalah yang mendefinisi, memilih, menjalani, dan menentukan apapun yang ada di hidupmu.

Good luck with yours, wish me luck with mine.

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

41472196 seconds.. And still counting..

No, it's not about how long I been with someone or anything. Sorry to disappoint you guys.

(i know it's been awhile since my last post in this blog. I don't feel like blogging lately, but uh. I kinda need a place where i can put all my mind without being judged. Well, paper seems a bit boring because they dont talk to you nor answer your question though. And yes, i'm aware that i can't really assume my readers will always love every single posting of mine, but still, i feel safer here).

I'm posting from Singapore by the way, it's almost my 16th month here. That's what I'm about to talk about. Confused? Me too.

There's some part of me that changed, definitely. I didn't censor my F word with stars anymore like I did a year back, that's one. I still censor my B word though, sometimes..

My English got a lot better but fyeah alhamdulillah I still keep my indonesian-american accent. Sorry, but singlish is just not cool.

I've improved my cooking skill as well! Thanks to Laura Vitale, Gordon Ramsay, Chef John, What's For Lunch Honey and Dessert For Breakfast :3 I've learn lots of new dishes, especially Italian and British. I'll put some recipes and step-by-steps someday, promise ^^ and oh I'm too lazy to put up any links, that's what google are for, yes?

i've made lots of new friends, awesome ones, 'different' ones, annoying ones, you name it. Got chances to get to know some inspiring people as well (:

I've been through my hard times. When i started losing faith, postponed and even missed some of my prayers without feeling guilty. I broke my promise to my parents to continuously reciting Quran everyday, fall asleep without praying, and stuff like that. Thank God I'm still pork-free. However, I've become myself again these days, looking forward to be better too actually, let's see how it goes.

Another hard time is when I dont feel I'll ever find a true friend here. Just so you know, to me, it's still Indonesians who have have the best sincere smile among the others. No matter if they're javanese, chinese, they will be true to you. I've tried involving myself to their conversation and it really is difficult to keep up with them for more than half an hour without talking about others. In bad way, yes.
At first I thought Singaporeans are very individual, cuek, and just minding their own business only. That might be true in some ways, where they will be busy on their phones, not paying attention to their surroundings, even if there's some unusual case (like when there's a guy with very huge blue kribo hair enter the MRT or when I took off my 15cm heels after wearing it for almost 7 hours on my way home -it feels good to walk barefoot! I should try it more often!) people will only give it a glance and then look away. Quite frankly, I'm surprised people give no damn about those stuffs, but when it's actually about their friends.. Whoa. They can talk about anything, their sense of fashion, their 80's haircut, their not so fair skin, their pimples, anything. And don't pull that bullshit to me that i still can be good friends with them ignoring that fact. i do know what kind of reaction these people expect. Definitely not answers like, "Hahaha, i don't know.. i don't think she's that weird actually.." or "hehe, umm.. Don't you think it's kinda mean?"
No. Just No.

Indonesian friends.. Yes our people are still the best. At least I can laugh with them, being silly and goofy together, talk about simple things in our daily life, movies, songs, admit some weird fact about me, until share deep thoughts. I found some people that truly mean a lot to me. The awesomeness we share are priceless and I never regret that. However, I do have to adapt with them as well though. I'm a typical house person. I dont hang out much, actually, and i'm not really into malls. I prefer some kind of real refreshing like adventuring around, or go into some really new places and take pictures, watching people, write and sketch something about it, and getting inspired. Moreover, I'm the only kid in my family, so my mom and dad are quite protective. I have to be home by 9 or less than that. My mom even sometimes still reluctant to allow me to go out with friends, even only go out for lunch or movies. Well yeah, just my mom being a mom.
Anyway, living in Singapore totally change that. I've went out til late, til morning sometimes. In some occassions i did enjoy that, because i did have a good time. But there are some of them that i sort of regret because it's just not worth my time. I din't even put my whole self there. I was staying only to be polite, or because I want them to think I'm that kind of 'fun' person. Yeah, that was stupid. Nevermind, I learn my lesson.

What else? Damn, this is a freakin long post. And even worse, I posted it from my iPad because my laptop is having trouble with its wifi adapter or something, haven't repaired it yet. Why is it worse? because I can't upload any picture except I inserted the URL -which for that it's still need to be uploaded, duh. And I'm not an apple person anyway, so, yeah, I dont find this thing is that magnificient or anything.

So, that's about it. I'm feeling a lot better now. Overall, I did not regret my decision to move here, there are some positive side though, like me being more independet, get to know 9gag, visiting some awesome places and finding lots of cute stuffs I didnt find in Indonesia, being a tour guide, and oh for real I did not regret anything at all okay? I just want to be graduated as soon as possible and leave this country As Fucking Soon As Possible.
I'm sure i'm not gonna bother missing it tho, maybe just the freedom, and MRT, and the internet connection.
And Desigual.
And the distros, maybe?

See, look at me and my funny brain.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

things I adore recently

1. great fonts, especially handwriting (i love these pretty stuffs) and retro ones (this source is awesome).
2. colorful batik and tribal patterns. i never knew batik can be this colorful and candy-ish before :D (i heart her :'>)
3. soft-baked cookies. for those who never tasted it, it's kind of cookie, but not crunchy. it's like, so-so fudge brownie-ish, cake-ish, and cookies-ish, but it's just better.
4. demilked.com
5. catchy songs in various languages (..these!)
6. Nestle® Bliss yoghurt drink, especially apple-kiwi flavor :3
7. something pretty to see, but not really usable and edible (to me) like cute cupcakes and friendship bracelets maybe someday i'll be able to make it and find perfect style to wear it ♥

tell me yours! :)

Sunday, 11 March 2012

liberté

..or freedom, in english.

i gotta say life is wonderful, love is wonderful.
family, friends, guys, all are wonderful.
and relationship? are wonderful as well.

but once we create that bond, -or someone created that for us and we can't say no- and commit ourselves to whatever or whoever it is, we have to -much or less- sacrifice this one.

one does not simply live by their own, aren't they? *heck yes, i'm a 9gagger.
however, being far from your family and old friends, also being single, aint all pathetic. trust me.

you'll have the chance to breath.
you'll have the chance to think.
you'll have the chance to learn new things.
you'll have the chance to plan.
you'll have the chance to create.
and most importantly,
you'll have the chance to miss everything you were missing out.

still,

Thursday, 26 January 2012

sepotong kalimat (sok) bijak

"Tentukan dulu batas kekuatan lo sebelum lo berjuang, apalagi di suatu hal yang sesulit ini. Jangan pernah mulai berjalan di kegelapan kalau lo belum tau seberapa panjang lilin yang lo punya."

Untuk Jova, yang apinya mulai meredup.

another quickpost

..dan malam itu aku memeluknya dengan perasaan campur aduk.
dengan degup, yang aku masih tidak yakin berlompatan karena gugup.
dengan gemuruh, yang aku masih belum tahu alasan ia luruh.
dengan air mata tertahan, walaupun mungkin tanpa kesedihan.

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

my quotes #part 2


 venus aretha / noni 
it's funny how once you become smart enough to leave, they become stupid enough to think that you'll stay. no matter how they treat you.
 venus aretha / noni 
it's funny how people only realize what I've done to them after I stop doing it.
 venus aretha / noni 
it's funny how people want you back and work for it right after you don't want them anymore.
 venus aretha / noni 
Some girls are stupid, if some chick is flirting with ur man and he's flirting back with her you should be pissed off at him, not the girl.

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Keunyuan (?)

klise sebenarnya. ini adalah kisah tentang Cowok, Cewek, dan sesuatu yang disebut dengan Keunyuan. banyak variabel tambahan yang nantinya akan menjadi figuran, bahkan tiba-tiba menjadi pemeran utama di kisah ini juga -kandidat terkuat adalah sesuatu yang bernama Kegalauan. kenal kan?



anyway, siapa Keunyuan sebenarnya?
dia adalah.. sesuatu yang menggemaskan, tapi sebenarnya meresahkan.
sesuatu yang bikin lo speechless, nggaktau mau ngapain, but not in a bad way.
sesuatu yang buat gue, selalu pengen gue hindarin, tapi nggak bisa. too irresistible. too unyu.


oke, bingung? begini..

Thursday, 27 October 2011

get it together. stop judging.


Society's standards are fucked.

You eat, you're fat. You don't eat, you're a freak anorexic wannabe. You drink, you're an alcoholic. You don't drink you're a pussy. You're reserved and quiet, you're emo. You're open and expressive, you're attention hungry. You read, you're nerd. You don't read, you're stupid. You tell a secret, again you're an attention seeker. You don't tell a secret, you're still attention seeking. If you don't compliment yourself, you're actually begging for compliments. If you do compliment yourself, you're full of yourself and they say nobody cares. You're virgin by 17, you're doing something wrong, frigid lil bitch. You lose it by 17? What a whore, slut. If you're unique, you're weird. If you're normal, you're boring.

See? You can't please everyone.
Ever.

So be what you wanna be. Do things you think it's right to do. And seriously, don't give too much damns.


you wear a pink glittery heels you're a show-off bitch? barbish paris hilton wannabe? some stupid rich blonde who never care of their society? some pretty face who likes to mock and ditch other girls? some mommy's girl who never get hurt?


seriously. even a shoe can make thousands stereotype.

*btw i'm in love with helvetica. thinking of start posting using that font from now on.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

about something

life is ironically funny.
one of my favorite line ever.

there i was thinking for taking a rest.
not gonna make any stupid decision anymore or hurting anybody, or even worse, hurt myself.
but then there is this thing.
something that could be too right, but more impossible, it's too wrong.

in the end,
we only regret the chances we didnt take
the relationship we were afraid to have
and the decision we waited too long to make. 

but, somehow i think i just say that quote because it sounds kinda cool 0.0 (doesnt it? no? lol, okay)
i cant say that it's whole true because at the same time,
why would i wanna be in a relationship while i still have that single personality?
why would i begin to think to be with someone if i'm not sure whether i really want it, and whether he really wants it?
why would i wanna start something, when i'm not ready?



life is ironically funny,
just before i press the 'publish post' button, i saw a tweet.
one of the greatest quote from the brilliant Mark Twain,
twenty years from now on you'll be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did.

...
off to bed.
night (:

Monday, 10 October 2011

untitled





"Aku pengen ngerasain pacaran."
Itu adalah inti dari empat sms yang aku terima berturut-turut di minggu ini dari empat orang yang berbeda.

Monday, 3 October 2011

you (:

result:
snowman drawing pen 0.1 dan 0.5, faber castell watercolor pen 36 colors
artwork ini dibuat tanpa pensil. dan jujur aja mengandung 4 kesalahan yang diperbaiki dengan maksa -__-
yang niat, silakan dicari :p

inspirasi awal:

sesuatu yang iseng, tapi hasilnya lumayan hehe.
..

you turn my life upside down, in good way.
somehow, simply talking to you can boost my mood instantly.
you, bring colors to my life.
yet you keep me still pure.


i, well.. love is a big word,
instead, can i say..
i white you?

#nowplaying A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
..setelah dipikir-pikir lagi, saya sendiri nggak yakin ini bener bener saya tujuin buat seseorang atau nggak. 


update:
OIYAAA maaf lagi karena ini bukan yang versi scan hehe, pertama untuk menghindari plagiarism, kedua.. yah, sama kaya alesan kemarin. scanner saya lagi ngambek -.-" dan SLR saya di indo.
udah. end of story.

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

i'm so sorry..

AGAIN :(
well guys i'm sorry *hugs* but i think this one is kinda serious. someone please remind me not to be bored with this blogging thingy :'

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Untuk Seorang Perampok Kecil




by Venus Aretha on Monday, February 22, 2010 at 6:54pm

Dapatkah kau mendengar seruan bisuku?
Saat malam luruh ke bumi dan bebukitan menghitam di kejauhan
Tinggal bintang harapan yang berpendar temaram dalam genggaman

Pernahkah kau rasakan panggilan serakku?
Ketika ku hanya bisa mengasihi aksara demi aksara dengan rindu-redam yang kupelajari diam-diam
Lalu menelan keheningan atas mimpi-mimpi yang berjatuhan dan berserak

Adakah kau tersentuh senandung serpihan hatiku?
Yang mengantarkan merpati menyongsong ufuk sang matahari
Dan rintik hujan Februari jadikan jarakmu hanya sejangkauan

Sudahkah kukatakan padamu, wahai perampok kecil?
Kembalikan hatiku

.
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Tuesday, 30 August 2011

ketika notifikasi jadi rame :D

Jadi inget dulu waktu smp tiap deket deket mau lebaran pasti ada temen temen yang request minta dibikinin 'puisi minta maaf' *yang sedihnya ngga pernah kepikiran buat disimpen secara proper huks, udah pada ilang* lumayan bikin begadang sih, karena ada 5-6 orang yang request (plus 'puisi' saya sendiri) jadi harus beda-beda. tapi bangga juga rasanya kalo hari lebaran saya terima lagi puisi-puisi itu, bahkan beberapa ada yang copas dan nyebarin ke temen-temennya juga. ujung-ujungnya balik juga ke saya.
no credit? no payment? nggakmasalah, karena saya suka ngerjainnya hehe. apalagi waktu itu musim-musimnya sms lucu kaya yang operator sibuk itu (gila itu siapa ya kira kira yang pertama bikin, penasaran, menasional banget bung haha) jadi sms sms mutiara gitu kaya berharga banget, syahdu banget #apasih

sekaraaaang saya baru sadar, makin tahun makin kerasa kalo lebaran bener bener jadi perang kata-kata indah, sibuk copas sana sini, esensi minta maafnya sendiri jadi sedikit berkurang, pulsa abis gara-gara ngirim smsnya sampe 2-3 sms saking panjangnya, nggakpapa sih kalo memang niatnya 'membungkus' permintaan maaf yang tulus itu dengan manis, asal memang tujuan utamanya itu, bukan untaian formalitas belaka.

anyway, curhatannya udah dulu ah haha
ini intinya :)

saya ingin meminta maaf dengan sederhana,
lewat sebaris kata-kata tanpa pulsa
saya ingin meminta maaf dengan sederhana,
karena saya bukan pujangga ;)

selamat lebaran! ♥




p.s. saya masih beristirahat :P
ada exam abis gini huaa doakan yaaa :D

Saturday, 20 August 2011

see you later dahlings ^^


UPDATE:
1. for those who ask: it's NOT fake eyelashes. thank you.
2. ada error tidak diundang di link list saya, mohon bagi siapapun yang punya link saya di blognya lapor! segera dibetulkan secepatnya sesudah saya kembali ke blog ini :3



but i do leave you something(s) to read :)
take a look at my popular post on the left sidebar.. (lots of my friends LOVE this one: penggalauan sailormoon) or try these posts:

love this blog?
follow me :)


link exchange? reblog something from my post or fb notes? ask me to comment something?
comment here or simply shout it :)


see ya later, fellas! wish me luck for my exams and strugglings in life <3

Friday, 19 August 2011



they said, isn't it wonderful, falling in love with your bestfriend?
i said, are you kidding me? that'd be awkward, and will end in such horrible way. then we all will just can't stop regretting that stupidity.

but i did it anyway.

Wednesday, 13 July 2011





sorry, hybernating for awhile :) 
*can be clicked!*


some stuff also written in my facebook's notes here
reblog? please put on sources. hate is a big word, but i really really really dislike plagiators. thanks.
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