Sup?

Had an interesting day, including random condom appearance, tons of inspiring photos taken for my artwork and an A++ grade.

But still. Deep deep inside.

It's emptiness.

No, nothingness. A real, pure, highly concentrated nothingness.

sepotong kalimat (sok) bijak

"Tentukan dulu batas kekuatan lo sebelum lo berjuang, apalagi di suatu hal yang sesulit ini. Jangan pernah mulai berjalan di kegelapan kalau lo belum tau seberapa panjang lilin yang lo punya."

Untuk Jova, yang apinya mulai meredup.

another quickpost

..dan malam itu aku memeluknya dengan perasaan campur aduk.
dengan degup, yang aku masih tidak yakin berlompatan karena gugup.
dengan gemuruh, yang aku masih belum tahu alasan ia luruh.
dengan air mata tertahan, walaupun mungkin tanpa kesedihan.

get it together. stop judging.

Society's standards are fucked.

You eat, you're fat. You don't eat, you're a freak anorexic wannabe. You drink, you're an alcoholic. You don't drink you're a pussy. You're reserved and quiet, you're emo. You're open and expressive, you're attention hungry. You read, you're nerd. You don't read, you're stupid. You tell a secret, again you're an attention seeker. You don't tell a secret, you're still attention seeking. If you don't compliment yourself, you're actually begging for compliments. If you do compliment yourself, you're full of yourself and they say nobody cares. You're virgin by 17, you're doing something wrong, frigid lil bitch. You lose it by 17? What a whore, slut. If you're unique, you're weird. If you're normal, you're boring.

See? You can't please everyone.

Ever.

So be what you wanna be. Do things you think it's right to do. And seriously, don't give too much damns.

you wear a pink glittery heels you're a show-off bitch? barbish paris hilton wannabe? some stupid rich blonde who never care of their society? some pretty face who likes to mock and ditch other girls? some mommy's girl who never get hurt?


seriously. even a shoe can make thousands stereotype.

*btw i'm in love with helvetica. thinking of start posting using that font from now on.

about something

life is ironically funny.

one of my favorite line ever.

there i was thinking for taking a rest.

not gonna make any stupid decision anymore or hurting anybody, or even worse, hurt myself.

but then there is this thing.

something that could be too right, but more impossible, it's too wrong.

in the end,
we only regret the chances we didnt take
the relationship we were afraid to have
and the decision we waited too long to make. 

but, somehow i think i just say that quote because it sounds kinda cool 0.0 (doesnt it? no? lol, okay)

i cant say that it's whole true because at the same time,

why would i wanna be in a relationship while i still have that single personality?

why would i begin to think to be with someone if i'm not sure whether i really want it, and whether he really wants it?

why would i wanna start something, when i'm not ready?

life is ironically funny,

just before i press the 'publish post' button, i saw a tweet.

one of the greatest quote from the brilliant Mark Twain,

twenty years from now on you'll be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did.

...
off to bed.
night (:

Untuk Seorang Perampok Kecil

by Venus Aretha on Monday, February 22, 2010 at 6:54pm

Dapatkah kau mendengar seruan bisuku?
Saat malam luruh ke bumi dan bebukitan menghitam di kejauhan
Tinggal bintang harapan yang berpendar temaram dalam genggaman

Pernahkah kau rasakan panggilan serakku?
Ketika ku hanya bisa mengasihi aksara demi aksara dengan rindu-redam yang kupelajari diam-diam
Lalu menelan keheningan atas mimpi-mimpi yang berjatuhan dan berserak

Adakah kau tersentuh senandung serpihan hatiku?
Yang mengantarkan merpati menyongsong ufuk sang matahari
Dan rintik hujan Februari jadikan jarakmu hanya sejangkauan

Sudahkah kukatakan padamu, wahai perampok kecil?
Kembalikan hatiku

.

 ·  · Share · Delete

• Muhammad Zazuli Rizki, Nabil Ishak, Hanif Abida and 14 others like this.

wow

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing." 
— David Beckham

blogroll :3

Ladies and Gentlemen,
akhirnya jadi juga gue bikin blogroll sesudah dipaksa-paksa sama tukang tagih utang dan fans para blogger keren yang selalu bikin saya iri setengah mati sama postingan-postingan mereka. iya deh saya tau saya nubi, hiks. so, you guys better check your blog url in my sidebar. link exchange? very welcome! just go ahead and tell me :>
kedua, gue baru sadar ternyata blog gue berat banget dibuka di indonesia. hiks, maafkan ya sodara sodara, habis kalo di singapore ringan sih :p *piss luph and gaowl >> alay mode: on* maafkan soal itu ya, tapi gue terlanjur cinta sama tampilannya sih. don't get me wrong, gue suka ngeliat blog-blog tumblrish yang warna dasarnya putih (gue yakin lo sering liat blog kaya gini kan) dan headernya setipe. kayanya clean trus ringan banget, enak dibaca. cuma dari dulu gue udah ngerasa klop sama tampilan ala blog zaman dulu, dengan header model scrapbook, and yes, colorful.
ketiga, draft gue udah sampe 100 guys! ini gawat! gue selalu nulis artikel/ puisi/ opini/ artworks tapi ngga pernah gue selesein dan akhirnya ngga gue post-post. ckck. okelah gue mending fokus ke assignments gue dulu sebelum kemalesan gue semakin menjadi-jadi. yes i got Bieber Naidu Fever tonight! which i will finish both of his assignments TONIGHT!

and last, if you read this Mr. Jailani, i freakin hate you and i'm gonna kick your *ss with an A! I promise! WAIT and SEE.

aaaa *sorry just blabbering

i'm in love with this blogging thingy! hahaha omy i started this blog on march 2011 dan rasanya seneng banget liat stats yang nambahnya tiap hari makin 'wow'-ing (oke, saya amatir disini, entah ya kalo ada yang blognya diview sampe ribuan ato puluh ribuan perhari, saya yg penting readers saya enjoy reading it aja udah seneng kok hihi) dan, saya nggak pernah ngeh sama followers thingies sampe ngeliat temen temen yang followersnya udah puluhan gitu. ngeliatnya kagum tapi jujur saya nggak terlalu berambisi buat dapet follower yang segitu banyaknya hahaha ya sadar dirilah blog baru, bukan anak eksis juga :p

jujur saya udah buat blog hampir sepuluh kali :)) blog pertama saya, lupa url nya apa dan passnya apa juga, isinya cuma sapaan nggakpenting plus agak norak juga sih hahahaha itu waktu sd, lalu smp saya buat venus**.blogspot.com yang astaga, alaynya mampus. lalu berlanjut ke 3-4 blog lain yang berakhir dengan tidak terurus dan lupa password *sigh* terakhir ada thestarisblack.blogspot.com yang masuk taraf lumayan. ada juga multiply, wordpress, livejournal, tumblr, semua berakhir dengan tidak terurus. maaf :|

eh saya mau menunjukkan sesuatu hehe ^^

oh dear I can't help it, i mean, seeee? please nobody just view my profile anymore, let this stay this beautiful way :') *unless you wanna make it until 7777 then go ahead :D

okay, so, i know more people, with their ah-may-zing blogs. people who can write such wonderful stories, or make their blahs a lot more interesting, also people who has gifted hands to make art thingies (okay, for you who wait, i'll post it right after this post xD)

for those who asks for exchanging link, umm, i dont know when i'll start making my blogroll though hehe, but deep deep thanks for you who mentioned me in your superb blogs :3

and ya, i kinda have lots of things in my drafts though, honestly, i have much more in my drafts than what i have published. i've wrote a lot, fiction stories, pictures, my theories, hangouts, and stuff. i just.. some of them i havent completed yet because i just suddenly stuck and lack of idea, the other, i'm still looking for the right time.

also, for you guys who already a 12th grader, your journey starts now dahling ;)

stop procrastinating, stop lazying around, and start think about your future, your dream university..

and baby, prove me you can reach it, cause i know you will :)

last, just again :p

<3 !!!

another quickpost

well, so so far in Singapore i got plenty of new nicknames:

Nonai


Nonny (-___-)


Astutey TUTEY TUTEY :))


Pink ;)


Tutti Frutti


A girl with pink balloon


Ribbon maniac/ Miss Ribbonista/ a girl with ribbon

pretty sweet huh, my friends? hahaha

how about something sweet? ..and pretty!

created on may 11, 2010 at 23:24:29

don't you feel sometimes we're not only being corny and lame when we're falling in love, but also abso-freakin-lutely STUPID?

we kept saying silly things, and we hold on to words that only mean something at the moment they are spoken. or written. and we inhale them like scripture. we want them to mean more than they do. for some reason we think it's romantic while it's actually make us look like idiots.              

there's no such thing as "I will always love you" or "nothing's gonna change my love for you" because love will find its way, we can't control it. love is actually doomed for ever-changing, it always changes, it comes and gone without any words, sometimes even without any signs. 'forever love' doesn't exist, there was just falling in love many times always with the same person.

- venusaretha

it's just.. unspoken.

two young teenagers sit on silence. avoiding each other's eyes and busy on their mind. drowning. deeper. with some touch of memories which come like knifes. poking, scraping, scratching, and finally undermine their entire defense..

Girl:
he never make any effort for me, he doesnt even wanna fight for me, he said he miss me but he doesnt do anything, he told me that he loves me, but he never show me enough.

Guy: 

i'm tired of never being good enough, why she's asking so much? isnt it just enough that i let her know she's the one and only? i tell her that i love her, and mean it. what should i do then?

Girl:

he never shows that he loves me in front of his guy friends, with those jerks he acts differently, he even doesnt want me to hang out very often with his guy friends.. what else the reason except he's shy and embarrassed being with a girl like me? yes yes, i know i'm not that pretty, that hot, that attractive or that attention-center-diva. whatever boy, doesnt he know that i just wanna make friends, anyway, some of them are funny and i enjoy being around em.

Guy:

for god's sake, there's always always a line beside relationship and friendship. and yes, there's some jackass in my gang but they appreciate me and kind to me. i love them and i dont want to have any problem with you if you figure it out and start commenting or giving me advice about it. i'm avoiding arguments okay? otherwise when i see you hang with them i'm also afraid that you could, probably, fall for one of them who's maybe more gentle than me, or a guitar cutie, or.. hell yes, i'm avoiding that possibility. with a little bit of jealousy. and duh, please stop being so insecure about yourself, you're not just pretty. well, you're beautiful..

Girl:

sometimes i can feel him staring and kinda make me blush, i think he thinks i'm kinda gorgeous.. but why he never tell me that? sometimes i also want to get compliment doesnt he know?

Guy:

to be honest,  i'm not that kind of corny-frontal boys, or romantic sorta thingy. i thought she already know by the way i treat you.. otherwise, if she can't accept me just the way i am  then why did we even start this?

Girl:

sometimes i want him to start opening up about what he really feels, he seem just okay with everything, even for me it looked like he doesnt care at all.. i want that serious conversation so we both can explain what each other feels.. ah, he'll never be able to get whole mind on those kind of heavy stuff. he prefers having fun around and things. anyway, i think it has no point anymore now..

Guy:

not rarely i've been thinking to spontaneously tell her what's on my mind in some good situation. like, you know, we just enjoy doing our things together and suddenly i pops out something, in kinda joking way so she can accept it positively. but, at the same time i dont think she can.. and now, look at her, she's about to end this.. it's just too late.

Girl:

"We're just, for some reason.. not meant to be, i guess.." But I love you! Please say something to make me stay!

Guy:

"So.. that's what you want.. I, I understand. Wish you a better life and thanks for everything." Damn, I dont know how long will it take to get over this, but I need to appreciate her decision..

(Last hug)

Girl: 

(holding tears) it's always like this, i'm the only one who's hurt and he'll just go back to his friends. laughing. totally okay.

Guy: 

(looking up, close his eyes) then she's gonna go to her girlfriends, go shopping, flirt to new boys and being just alright. haha yes i knew it..

(Pull over, making some distance and look at each other eyes. Both of them are unreadable, too many emotions there so it's blurred..

Girl:

"Bye." I guess he never really loved me..

Guy:

"Bye." I guess she never really loved me..

originally created by me.

hahaha

they say..

"Hatimu butuh istirahat, Ven.."

"Yaampun ini puncaknya ya?"

"Ven, you've been too amazing. Dont let anybody hurts you just because they know you're strong."

"Aku speechless. UDAHLAH VEN! AKU NGGAK SUKA LIAT KAMU KAYAK GINI!"

"He's not that worth it."

"IT WAS FOUR FUCKIN YEARS, you STUPID!!"

"Arent you tired already?"

"Ya udahlah, yang dulu ya dulu. Walaupun sekarang masih agak sakit hehe. Yang penting kamu jangan ngulangin kesalahan yang sama. Kamu harus memilih. Kamu berhak bahagia. Udah itu aja :)"

why?

'cause at the very beginning, 

"Hahaha aku nggakpapa kok. Tenang aja."

"Hehe, biasalah.."

"Nyantai dong, begini doang ini."

"Iya, nggakpapa.. udah gih, sana aja."

"Oh gitu? Yaudah nggakpapa lagii."

"Hahaha, biasa aja kok. Lagi menggalau dikit."

"Oke :)"

"Iyaaaa, cepet sembuh ya bm nyaa.."

"Tenaaaang aku ngerti kok hahaha."

...

and days go on,

weeks,

months,

does it stay still?

...

"Hmm, iya deh."

"Emang kenapa? Nggakpapa lagi udah biasa hehe."

"Oh."

"Yaudah sana."

"Beda? Haha apanya yang beda?"

"He eh."

"Oke, daah."

...

I just need to be ensured that i'm wanted back. I always try to change those girls minds who think their boyfriend dont make any effort for them, but silently, i'm asking myself.. and never got the answer. simply because i'm afraid answering that.

One night, and yes, that one night was last night, somebody finally asked me that question..

"How it feels, Ven? Being with someone who doesn't wanna fight for you?"

"Actually at first I was happy.. Happy that I can love somebody that true, that pure, without asking for replies. Happy that I can be someone who takes care of him, try to make his bad days to better days. You know I was like.. His Heroine. And I'm proud of that. But you know what?"

"What?"

"Sometimes I need a hero too.."

for a moment silent wash over me and that girl, my best listener ever.

before that sentence comes out from her mouth..

"I wonder what's on his mind when he heard your name.."

dan dengan pertanyaan lalu itulah pertahananku jebol.

those negative thoughts come over and it was like never gonna stop.

i'm the one who'll always be there, the one he can just simply call and i'll come, the one that still standing with smile even when everybody left, the one that..

oh my God i'm actually saying this..

a second, or third, or forth choice.

a back up plan.

simply an option.

so back to that question,

i was crying even harder,

because i simply have no idea except one..

he wont be smiling,

or even touched.

he'll feel nothing, just like other girls names.

no heartbeat. no happy thought. even maybe, not any memories crossed in.

and yes,

it fuckin hurts.

just another random post

What does a prince look like?
For me he came on t-shirt and jeans

What should a prince do to make a girl a princess?
For me a pure-honest-caring touch on head and cheek means a lot more than a bouquoet of white roses or down on his knee with a diamond ring.

What does make a prince a prince?
Simply being himself.

Yeah you can tell,
I'm in love.
Eventhough I'm not a princess.

aren't they sweet? huhuhu i'm jealous.
well, someday i'll have my own fairytale. and so do you!
..and when you find it, be happy, stop worrying about what happen next and stay true to yourself and to him/her :D

whatchathink?

#Libra is a sign much given to sentiment and romanticism. They do all they can to make their partner happy. 

#Libra main motivation is to keep matters harmonious and gracious.

#Libra character is a blend of ambition and determination on one hand and diplomacy on the other.

#Libra will think carefully before saying yes and will rarely do anything they don't want to do.

#Libra are all about partnerships and groups, they are the glue that hold a group together.

#Libra should never undermine their own integrity and hold out until their dreams do come true.

#Libra have potential of being a good leader with their diplomatic ways.

#Libra do not like making decisions, they want a little of everything.

#Libra indecisiveness is caused by fear, their fear that a wrong decision will make everything come crashing down around them. 

#Libra have to learn how to deal with confrontation.

#Libra will never forget a birthday, anniversary or other special dates.

#Libra show understanding of the other person's point of view, trying to resolve any differences by compromise.

#Libra discover they can not only be creative, but it provides an opportunity to express diverse sides to their personalities.

Sometimes #Libra desire to please others is so strong, you will actually go out of your way.

Every adolescent #Libra fantasy is to find the Prince or Princess of their dreams.

#Libra fully gives him/herself to a partner, and you will remember every intimate moment in his or her arms.

#Libra is very insecure, they suffer from a lack of self confidence. 

#Libra most definitely a thinker — they like to use their mind to tackle problems. 

#Libra are the ultimate romantic. They love affection, even with their friends they hug them and give them gifts.

#Libra is projection and perspective, and the sense that compromise is instrumental in the search for balance. 

#Libra is pleasant, charming, and sociable.

#Libra tend to have a chameleon like personality captivating and confusing others.

#Libra can spend too much time and energy trying to get along with others and please them.

#Libra respond to admiration, praise and flattery, but only for a couple of seconds at a time.

#Libra puts a lot of stock in fairness, equality, and balance, both in their personal life and out in the world.

When approached in the right way #Libra have a hard time saying no to anything.

#Libra have potential of being a good leader, but but they are just too lazy to do the hard work required.

#Libra worship romance and seduction, can be extremely flirtatious and know how to please, excite and tease.

There's a fierce determination lurking just beneath #Libra surface. Never doubt it. 

Have fun, be yourself, you are almost guaranteed a good time with the easygoing, interesting #Libra.

Relating is natural for #Libra They aren't really happy unless they're trying to balance something.

#Libra have an intense desire for things such as love, sympathy and understanding.

To #Libra seduction is an art form.

#Libra are very passionate lovers and enjoy life.

#Libra is harmonic in dressing as you can find the balance between forms and colours.

#Libra hate complication.

taken from: 

@ZodiacZone

Librans personality: charming, diplomatic, doesn't let emotions get in the way, fair, sees all points of view, loves to think before they make up their mind, passionate, good with relationships, friendly, loves beauty, balance, and clothes, cosmopolitan, refined, amiable, sociable, happy, generous, realistic, gracious, affectionate, balanced, easy-going, elegant, flirtatious, committed, objective but can be indecisive, emotionally complex (but hate complication, haha librans --"), vague, dependent, distant, argumentative, depressed, exhausted, idealistic, superficial, self-indulgent, cares a lot about what other people think *damn!, vanity.

okay, so basically. start thinking what is the italic, bold, and large font size means by yourself haha, i think it's pretty much obvious.

extra..

#Capricorn self-sufficiency is often mistook for coldness, they are not as cold as they seem.

oh really? :p

last one :D #bandel

do you guys love my new blog appearance? :D
actually wanna do it with some floral and elegant-feminine-mature stuff but just realize that's not who i am. i'm not that pretty, i'm just simply beautiful *doooohh hahah efek not delicious body :p

been workin on it and ta-da!
patchwork background, owl thingy for header and title icon *wide eyes and stay awake till this time just like mee*, flags for post divider *i actually want something cuter, but this suits best with the background hihi*
some widgets are added too :3

i think i'll keep it like this for awhile :D



now this is truly. really. seriously.
good night :)

you better not reading this

oke jadi saya masih nggakbisa tidur nyenyak juga sampe jam segini hhhhhh
badan panas kayak kompor tapi kedinginan setengah mati, jadi ngangetinnya meluk badan sendiri didalem selimut --" posisi janin deh haha kangen mamaaa huaa, perut sakit pula, mual, mulut nggak enak banget rasanya, dibuat tidur tambah pusing, akhirnya cuma duduk sambil dengerin lagu. ngepost deh.

oiya tidak boleh banyak mengeluh .___. *istighfar istighfar*

holy shit. oh tidak. aku mau sembuuuuhhh. gilak senin itu ujian, trus katanya jam 8an ada rapat PPI pula hrrr, ak udh ngga ikut yang kmaren masa sekarang nggak ikut lagi --"
sembuh gimana caranya? tidur. nggakbisa. bikin teh anget. haduh maleeees jam berapa ini, keluar koridor lagi *ingetin diri sendiri harus seringin isi termos biar ngga kehabisan air panas* makan. helooo? zzz. berdoa. oke deh.

*berdoa*

grrhh
noniii tidur!

".. kalo udah sakit gini kerasa nggak enaknya kan?"
iya :(








nite all, sweet dream and sleep tight. a better day awaits us in few hours, ciao!