Sunday 5 June 2011

there's this guy ..

and frankly i'm soooo tired seeing his name this often.

soooo sick having those girls message me not because they wanna be friends with me but because they wanna dig infos about him.

also soooo bored having that kind of convo over and over again.

yes, when there came a day that we talked like usual.. not really usual though. we finally talked deep things face-to-face, not by phone or messages. and the way he talked about few common things before finally hit the jackpot in the end is kinda cute. unusual, but cute. i do love it when somebody ask me or say things to me frontally, honestly, but in such not too harsh way. haha who wants to be hurt anyway?

again when there came a day when something is said in such a, movielish way lol. with the wind blow, quiet-calm-situation and stuff. it's uhm, nice. i feel.. special. but really, does shattered pieces can be one again just after two-three conversations? It was ruined, and then blank for months. can we? in fact, seeing him now with his awesome life, I believe he does deserve someone who's right, and deserve him more than me. I know I said that words too much but really, lots of girls better than me you know --"

i dont wanna make wrong move again, my life ever be such an adventurous jungle just because i choose wrong decision. fun, but annoyingly frustrating.

now? how?
am I gonna start something all over again? from the top?

probably the sentence 'you can't get over somebody a hundred percent' is one of my favorite now. and my favorite question now is, why this time? it's a little too late.

however, late means late.

yeah I understand that we never know what tomorrow brings. we will never know if we don't try. I probably gonna regret this, maybe I let go somebody who's uhm, truly loves me? or love me a lot more than somebody that I secretly wait? I don't know.
those cliche thingy, right? you never know what you have until you lose them. but another cliche stuff also say we have to stop regretting past and worrying of our future too much. be thankful of today. solve today's problem immediately. then? surely, be happy.

I probably sound like really evil now, a selfish person, a stupid girl, and so. maybe I also hurt some people's feelings when they read this.

But to me, I just realize I overthink things. I overreact stuffs. I have to stop converting what ifs and do/decide something spontaneously perhaps? so i gotta back off. I'll 'bury' myself alone, kinda stay away from him and those dangerous people for awhile i guess.

i just wanna be with me and myself now. and ah yes, my stars. pure stars without heart shape. or probablyyyyy just probably, kinda silently waiting for somebody who's right to me this time. someone who has no buts. again, for this time. not gonna matter that too much cause it may be someone who I might gonna find his buts, or he's the one who find my buts someday. It's not like I'm gettin married or what, huh? haha how I miss childhood when im being purely 100% single. not thinking about guys, and those complicated shits.

hibernating.
starts now. now.

(nowplaying: john mayer - who says)

Who says I can’t get stoned?
Turn off the lights and the telephone
Me in my house alone
Who says I can’t get stoned?

Who says I can’t be free?
From all of the things that I used to be
Re-write my history
Who says I can’t be free?

It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Baton Rouge
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you

Who says I can’t get stoned?
Call up a girl that I used to know
Fake love for an hour or so

Who says I can’t get stoned?

Who says I can’t take time?
Meet all the girls on the county line
Wait on fate to send a sign
Who says I can’t take time?

It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Austin too
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you

Who says I can’t get stoned?
Plan a trip to Japan alone
Doesn’t matter if I even go
Who says I can’t get stoned?
Mmhmm

It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long time since 22 16
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember, don't remember you

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