Unpublished (until now)

sleepless nights in hospital would give you plenty of time to be;
scared,
depressed,
thinking wild,
wondering ifs,
calculating maybes,
imagining weird happenings,
wishing things to be happier, easier.

how is it possible that everything you never think about,
you think about,
on a single night.

questioning
everything.

second guessing,
every single decision you make.

writing,
each and every single possibility
of how the story would be ending.

wondering,
what if Angel of Death messed up the room number when He picked up the patient next door that passed away half an hour ago.
what if Life is just level 1?
what if there is nothing afterwards?
what if there is something afterwards?

that's when I lift up my hand, and whisper
every secret prayer
every selfish wish
every fear I can't bear

hoping that when my eyes finally cooperate,
and I could wink a sleep tonight
I would open them again the next morning.