41472196 seconds.. And still counting..

No, it's not about how long I been with someone or anything. Sorry to disappoint you guys.

(i know it's been awhile since my last post in this blog. I don't feel like blogging lately, but uh. I kinda need a place where i can put all my mind without being judged. Well, paper seems a bit boring because they dont talk to you nor answer your question though. And yes, i'm aware that i can't really assume my readers will always love every single posting of mine, but still, i feel safer here).

I'm posting from Singapore by the way, it's almost my 16th month here. That's what I'm about to talk about. Confused? Me too.

There's some part of me that changed, definitely. I didn't censor my F word with stars anymore like I did a year back, that's one. I still censor my B word though, sometimes..

My English got a lot better but fyeah alhamdulillah I still keep my indonesian-american accent. Sorry, but singlish is just not cool.

I've improved my cooking skill as well! Thanks to Laura Vitale, Gordon Ramsay, Chef John, What's For Lunch Honey and Dessert For Breakfast :3 I've learn lots of new dishes, especially Italian and British. I'll put some recipes and step-by-steps someday, promise ^^ and oh I'm too lazy to put up any links, that's what google are for, yes?

i've made lots of new friends, awesome ones, 'different' ones, annoying ones, you name it. Got chances to get to know some inspiring people as well (:

I've been through my hard times. When i started losing faith, postponed and even missed some of my prayers without feeling guilty. I broke my promise to my parents to continuously reciting Quran everyday, fall asleep without praying, and stuff like that. Thank God I'm still pork-free. However, I've become myself again these days, looking forward to be better too actually, let's see how it goes.

Another hard time is when I dont feel I'll ever find a true friend here. Just so you know, to me, it's still Indonesians who have have the best sincere smile among the others. No matter if they're javanese, chinese, they will be true to you. I've tried involving myself to their conversation and it really is difficult to keep up with them for more than half an hour without talking about others. In bad way, yes.
At first I thought Singaporeans are very individual, cuek, and just minding their own business only. That might be true in some ways, where they will be busy on their phones, not paying attention to their surroundings, even if there's some unusual case (like when there's a guy with very huge blue kribo hair enter the MRT or when I took off my 15cm heels after wearing it for almost 7 hours on my way home -it feels good to walk barefoot! I should try it more often!) people will only give it a glance and then look away. Quite frankly, I'm surprised people give no damn about those stuffs, but when it's actually about their friends.. Whoa. They can talk about anything, their sense of fashion, their 80's haircut, their not so fair skin, their pimples, anything. And don't pull that bullshit to me that i still can be good friends with them ignoring that fact. i do know what kind of reaction these people expect. Definitely not answers like, "Hahaha, i don't know.. i don't think she's that weird actually.." or "hehe, umm.. Don't you think it's kinda mean?"
No. Just No.

Indonesian friends.. Yes our people are still the best. At least I can laugh with them, being silly and goofy together, talk about simple things in our daily life, movies, songs, admit some weird fact about me, until share deep thoughts. I found some people that truly mean a lot to me. The awesomeness we share are priceless and I never regret that. However, I do have to adapt with them as well though. I'm a typical house person. I dont hang out much, actually, and i'm not really into malls. I prefer some kind of real refreshing like adventuring around, or go into some really new places and take pictures, watching people, write and sketch something about it, and getting inspired. Moreover, I'm the only kid in my family, so my mom and dad are quite protective. I have to be home by 9 or less than that. My mom even sometimes still reluctant to allow me to go out with friends, even only go out for lunch or movies. Well yeah, just my mom being a mom.
Anyway, living in Singapore totally change that. I've went out til late, til morning sometimes. In some occassions i did enjoy that, because i did have a good time. But there are some of them that i sort of regret because it's just not worth my time. I din't even put my whole self there. I was staying only to be polite, or because I want them to think I'm that kind of 'fun' person. Yeah, that was stupid. Nevermind, I learn my lesson.

What else? Damn, this is a freakin long post. And even worse, I posted it from my iPad because my laptop is having trouble with its wifi adapter or something, haven't repaired it yet. Why is it worse? because I can't upload any picture except I inserted the URL -which for that it's still need to be uploaded, duh. And I'm not an apple person anyway, so, yeah, I dont find this thing is that magnificient or anything.

So, that's about it. I'm feeling a lot better now. Overall, I did not regret my decision to move here, there are some positive side though, like me being more independet, get to know 9gag, visiting some awesome places and finding lots of cute stuffs I didnt find in Indonesia, being a tour guide, and oh for real I did not regret anything at all okay? I just want to be graduated as soon as possible and leave this country As Fucking Soon As Possible.
I'm sure i'm not gonna bother missing it tho, maybe just the freedom, and MRT, and the internet connection.
And Desigual.
And the distros, maybe?

See, look at me and my funny brain.